A reason to kiss you
by Gothicpunkmonkeysthatscream
Summary: 'This is it, this is how I'm going to die.' Natsuo thought. How long has he been standing there staring at the two? Natsuo didn't know, he stood there frozen staring at them, staring at Youji who was slowly and unknowingly tearing him to shreds.


**This is my first YoujixNatsuo fic enjoy! (maybe I'll rewrite this in spanish but i'm not sure)**

**I do not own loveless or Youji and Natsuo**

* * *

Youji and Natsuo were walking alone side the sidewalk. It was the middle of the day and the two walked along side each other without a care in the world.

Natsuo sighed pleasantly, he noticed how with each step Youji's hair would lightly brush his arm. He liked that feeling, even though they were zeros and couldn't feel much of anything he was glad Nagisa sensei gave them a sense of touch.

As youji swung his arms slightly as he walked his right arm accidentily brushed up against Natsuo's left arm. This made Natsuo's heart quicken in pace and he hugged his teddy bear closer to his chest.

After his heart clamed down he looked over at his partner and smiled. He gently but very swiftly placed his head in Youji's.

Youji was startled at the sudden touch and looked over at Natsuo, but Natsuo had his head turned straight ahead with a smile on his face. Youji looked like he was about to say something but shook his head and smiled at him, tightening his hold of his hand.

They walked that way for several minutes not talking just hand in hand smiling. They turned left at on corner. They really had no destination in mind, they were just out to enjoy they day. And of course they were pretty board sitting inside all day.

"Hey Natsuo " Youji spoke for the first time since they've gone out.

"hmm" Natsuo looked at him.

"You want to get something to eat" he said pulling out Kio's wallet from his pocket grinning. They had stolen it his this morning and the poor fool had no idea it was gone.

Natsuo laughed at the thought of Kio searching endlessly for his money. "sure" he replied "But were do you want to go?"

Youji looked up at the sky in thought, his eyes narrowing a small pout in place. Natsuo thought that was the most beautiful thing in the world. _Youji_

There was nothing that could top Youji's beauty in Natsuo's opinon. He didn't care to look for it anyway, if Youji was by his side he didn't need anything. The world could burn to ashes for all he cared as long as Youji was saved, as long as he could keep him…forever.

"Youji…" Natsuo called for his attention.

Youji looked at him, and blinked. The look in Natsuo's eyes…it was intense, caring so full of emotions Youji couldn't comprehend, but it was also…familiar.

The way Natsuo would look at him when he opened his eyes in the morning, when he would cuddle in his arms because he couldn't sleep. When he came out of the bath with a towel around his waist, and Natsuo looked away quickly blushing, only to turn around with that same look in his eye.

_That look…_

Youji thought. That look of caring, of desire, of need, of….love? All blend into one.

Youji stopped walking forcing Natsuo into a stop as well. He was slowly comprehending what was happening here.

"Youji I…." Natsuo trailed of unable to catch his breath. '_why does this have to be so damn hard!'_ Natsuo cursed mentally.

He drew in a deep breath and he continued. "Youji…I-" Youji's heart quickened.

He was cut off by someone speaking Youji's name behind them.

"Youji? Is that you?" the unknown person spoke again.

They both turned around at once. Natsuo heard Youji gasp quickly beside him. Then he turned his full attention to the person standing in front of him.

In front of them was a very exciting looking girl. She was about their age wearing a short dress similar to their long shirts, but in a more girly fashion. The dress was pale blue and went just above her knees. She was wearing long white socks up to her knees a regular school shoes. Her hair was to her shoulders in a deep brown color. Her blinking eyes were an uncommonly blue color.

"Youji..?" she spoke again.

Youji tilted his head to the side with a confused expression on his face.

"Akami…?" he spoke unsure.

As soon as he said that her eyes brightened with pure joy she jumped up and down excitingly and skipped to him.

"I knew it! I just knew it was you!" she squealed and grasped his hand unlatching it form Natsuo's in a fierce move.

"Yeah…what are you doing here?"

"Oh you know nothing much," she replied looking over at Natsuo.

"So who your friend?" she asked smiling at Natsuo

"Huh?" Youji was still in shock over her sudden appearance. "Oh this is Natsuo, Natsuo this his Akami, we used to know each other back before Nagisa sensei introduced us." he explained.

"Oh" was Natsuo's only reply

"So... I can't believe you're here! Of all places! We have to go some where to catch up!" she kept going on and on until Youji's hands found their way to her shoulders.

"Akami" he said though slightly annoyed.

What happened next no body was ready for. They were all unprepared for Youji's next action.

Youji suddenly leaned in and placed his lips to hers.

Natsuo's eyes widened. He wanted to gasp, to yell, to cry! But he couldn't he was frozen in shock.

Akami quickly recovered from her shock and swiftly placed her hands on the back to his neck pulling him closer still. Youji's eyes opened half way.

Something made a soft sound next to Natsuo's feet. It was probably the sound of his teddy bear hitting the ground as his limp arms released it, but he didn't look down to cheek.

He couldn't move, he couldn't breath, he couldn't think. He was rooted to the ground paralyzed. Natsuo swore he felt something inside him break, a sharp stinging unbearable pain consumed his chest.

'_This is it…this is how I'm going to die…' _Natsuo thought

How long have they been together like that, mouth to mouth. Has it only really been a few seconds? They felt like years to Natsuo. Years, decades, centeries he stood like that frozen staring at the two. Staring at Youji who slowly and unknowingly was tearing him to shreds.

Natsuo finally got the feeling back in his legs, and as soon as he could, he made a run for it leaving Youji and that…_that bitch, _and his teddy bear behind him.

When Youji and Akami parted Youji's eyes narrowed.

"Calm down Akami your making a racket" he said rudely turning around to face Natsuo. " isn't that right Nat-" he stopped short when he found his partner gone, his teddy on the ground.

"Natsuo…?" Youji asked again as if by saying his name he would magically appear before him again.

"looks like his gone." Akami said turning Youji's face to look at her with her hand. "and since he is…" she continued. " lets go get something to eat."

Youji ignored her and turned to Natsuo's direction again. "Natsuo…" he whispered

"Forget him." she spoke again "let's go!" she said cheerfully as she pulled him along the street by the hand.

All the while Youji's head was turned in the direction behind him. _'Natsuo where did you go?' _

Natsuo was walking with his head down his bangs covering his remaining eye. He was tired of running so he had slowed his pace down a while ago.

Natsuo was part of a Zero experiment done by Nagisa Sensei. According to her, her zero design was upgraded to a level where they could feel no pain, but still have a sense of touch. They didn't know what cold or hot felt like as they have never experienced it before.

They were strong because of that, but it was also a weakness that Nagisa sensei was to stubborn to realize.

They were a perfect fighting machine they could go into battle with no reservations. A perfect team in Nagisa sensei's eyes.

'_If I am zero…why am I in so much pain…'_ Natsuo inwardly cried. He felt something moist run down his cheek. He figured it was blood for he felt like all of his insides were bleeding, and he supposed it was coming out.

He reached a hand to his cheek to whip it away but as he looked at the wet substance in his fingers, he was surprised to see it crystal clear instead of crimson red.

What dripped from his eye was not blood but tears. Silent tears were streaming down his cheek. Natsuo could believe it.

'_So this is what it felt to cry' _Natsuo was slightly happy that he was capable of this act. Sure he was close to tear once when Youji was harmed but he never actually cried.

Natsuo was once again sadden at the realization that it was Youji that had made him cry. Youji, _his _one and only Youji had made him feel this much pain.

Nastuo suddenly stopped when his head hit a wall. He looked up to find him self in an alley way with a dead end. He turned around and walked out of the alley. He was in an unfamiliar neighborhood. He had no idea where his feet had taken him after he ran away.

He started walking trying to find his way back but it was useless. He didn't recognized the street names he had never been here before. He was walking in circles for all he knew. He crossed streets turned corners came to another dead end _twice. _

There were no people around, a dog barking could be heard in the distance. Natsuo couldn't take it his head was spinning he whole body felt numb. He dropped to his knees gripping his head in his hands. He closed his eyes tightly. An image of Youji flashed in his mind. Youji…he could imagine Youji's arms around his waist. His own arms around Youji holding him, loving him, protecting him. Now it was Natsuo who needed protection and Youji was nowhere in sight.

Natsuo closed his eyes tighter. '_Youji…_ he thought '_Youji where are you! Youji!' _he screamed in his mind. Calling for his sacrifice. The person he secretly didn't want to see right now, but the person he need so much, the person he would die for.

* * *

Youji and Akami where sitting outside an ice cream parlor sharing a sundae. Normally Youji would have no intention of sharing but he made an exception today as he was barley eating. His mind kept wondering over to Natsuo.

Where could he be? Why did he leave? Is he hurt? All those questions kept popping into his head. Though he didn't mind. Although the thoughts worried him they were much more pleasant than Akami's unstoppable chatter. He sighed thinking of Natsuo. Now that he thought about it this was the first time they have ever been separated. Youji felt a great wave of emptiness swell inside him. He wasn't near Natsuo and that made him feel empty.

He was always by Natsuo's side. He was his fighter, his team, his best friend, his…lover?

'_why not?'_ Youji thought. He would be fine with being Natsuo's lover, that is if Natsuo wanted. If not…then that was okay. He would be crushed sure, but he would spend the remainder of his days trying to make him happy.

"Youji are you listening to me?" Akami's voice brought him back to reality

"huh?" he turned to look at her.

"You haven't listened to word I have said, haven't you?" she glared.

Youji turned his head away, and Akami's glare. "Youji if we are going to be going out you will have to listen to me once in a while."

That got Youji's attention. He turned to look at her eyes wide. "going out?" he asked confused

"well of course!" Akami said crossing her arms over her chest. "You finally accepted my offer, that is why you kissed me…right?"

Youji shook his head in disbelieve. He couldn't believe her! She had misunderstood the whole thing it was almost comical.

"Akami I-" he was about to explain everything when a panicked voiced entered his mind.

'_Youji where are you! Youji!"_ Youji immediately recognized the voice. It was Natsuo! He was calling him, he was in danger.

"I have to go!" he jumped up and ran where the voice was leading him to, leaving a Confused Akami behind.

Youji ran as fast as he could toward the voice. He turned corners, crossed streets cut through front yards and backyards of houses. Until he came to his destination.

Near an alley way leaning against the wall was a very scared looking Natsou. His head was in his hands his eye closed tightly.

"Natsuo!" Youji yelled and kneeled beside him. "are you okay?"

Natsuo opening his eye to the voice lifting his head he found a very concerned looking Youji. Natsuo's eyes widened and started to water again.

"Youji!" Natsuo screamed as he flung his arms around him. Youji was startled but sighed in relief to find Natsuo unharmed. Natsuo held him in an unbearably tight hold and Youji hugged back.

"Oh Youji…" Natsuo said against his neck. "I was so scared I couldn't find my way back." he explained

Youji rubbed Natsuo's back tenderly. "It's okay, I'm here" he soothed. Now this was odd, Youji thought usually it was Natsuo who comforted him.

Youji released him when he has calmed down and held him at arms length.

"Why did you go?" he asked his eyes saddening

Natsuo looked down "because…because you and that girl…you kissed…" he couldn't finished.

Youji made a silent 'o' sound as he understood. "…and that's why you ran." he asked

Natsuo nodded "..I…I couldn't take it …I.. never felt so much pain in my life…"

"Pain..?" Youji asked. Natsou nodded.

"It was the weirdest thing, since we can't feel pain I felt like I was in the worst pain anyone could ever experience."

After a long silence and Youji looking into his eyes he hugged him close again. "I understand." he whispered

"you do…?"

He nodded "of course I do. It's when you feel hopeless, betrayed, broken, empty.."

Natsuo stayed quite in Youji's arms listening to the beat of his heart. Then suddenly he pushed him away slightly but harshly.

"Natsuo…?" he trailed of. Natsuo glared at him.

"why did you kiss her Youji?" he demanded.

Youji's laughed silently "Oh Natsuo don't worry." he smiled

Natsuo just glared.

"I did it to shut her up! You wont believe how much she can talk. I just wanted her out of the way so I can spend the rest of the day with you." he finally explained.

Natsuo's eyes softened "really?" he asked amazingly relieved.

Youji nodded "but of course, she misunderstood and thought I was finally giving in to her. She has been after me ever since we met years ago."

Natsuo looked down feeling stupid. "…well I didn't know that." he stated

"she just isn't my type."

Natsuo looked up "what is your type then?" he asked grinning but he didn't feel as brave as he looked.

"well.." Youji's grin matched his. "he has to be my age, my height, my best friend and…" Youji leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear. "…and he was to have an eye patch and curly red hair."

Natsuo's heart fluttered he was talking about him!

'_I knew it!' _Natsuo's mind screamed. Youji leaned away with a grin on his face. Natsuo looked at him his breath sped this was it, it was now or never.

He swallowed nervously before saying "Youji I love you" in all seriousness.

Youji's eyes widened slightly before turning to normal. "I.. don't really know what love is…" he whispered Natsuo looked down. "but…" he continued

"If it feels like this.." he grabbed Natsuo's hand and placed it over his chest. Natsuo could feel the rapped beat of his heart. Youji then lean in close to Natsuo and placed his lips to his.

It was their first ever real kiss, and they slowly lost themselves in it. It was sweet caring and tasted faintly of vanilla ice cream thanks to Youji, and it was wonderful. When they parted Youji looked into Natsuo's eyes and finally finished his sentence. "…then I love you too."

Natsuo smiled with pure joy. He took Youji's head in his hands and crushed their lips together once more. He licked at Youji's lips for entrance which he was permitted. Their tongues engaged themselves in a slippery wet dance until they were out of air. They parted to each other's dismay. They looked at each other both catching their breath.

When it finally returned to them Youji got up pulling Natsuo along with him.

"let's go back" he said lacing their hands together.

"lets" Natsuo replied then they started walking.

They walked for a while. Thanks to Youji remembering every street name when he was looking to Natsuo they were able to find the way out of the street maize Natsuo had lost himself in.

It was not long after they came to the same street everything had started with.

"look!" Youji pointed at the ground "it's you teddy!" he said as he went to pick it up and handed it to Natsuo.

"Thanks." he replied "It's still early do you want to go home, or go to the park?" Natsuo asked.

"To the park." Youji agreed with a smile. Natsuo smiled back and they started to make their way to the park when they heard a familiar voice behind them.

"Youji."

They both turned around saw none other then Akami standing there.

'_dejia vu?' _Natsuo thought bitterly at the sight of the girl.

"Akami what do you want?" Youji asked her annoyed. She was the cause of all his problems today.

Akami stepped towards him. "you left your teddy behind so I came to give it to you." she explained handing Youji his bear.

"oh well thanks" he said taking his bear. "is that all?"

Akami glared "of course that's not all! Weren't you going to tell me if we were going out or not?" she asked

Beside him Youji could hear Natsuo silently growl and his hold on his hand tightened.

Youji sighed "look Akami as I was going to say before I only kissed you because you were making to much noise. I really don't want to go out with you. I'm sorry but that how I feel." he finished quite icily.

Akami eyes were wide and it looked like she was going to cry, but in the last moment she sighed and looked at him with sad eyes.

"I guess that's okay, I mean you never really did like me to start with and I didn't expect you to like me now." she said looking down.

Youji had to admit he felt kind of bad, but not bad enough to regret this, not even near that bad. He had Natsuo.

"I'm sorry' he said once again.

She looked at him and smiled "it's okay I guess this is goodbye." she said leaning in towards him and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Youji was surprised and Natsuo yanked him back with his hand before she tried anything else. "goodbye" Youji said turning around and walking away taking Natsuo with him.

Natsuo wanted, he _wanted _to hold back. to resist his temptation boiling in his viens. but at the last second he couldn't. He turned his head towards Akami's dirrection and stuck his tongue out at her. Akami gave him an annoyed look. Natsuo laughed and continued to walk with Youji. He knew that action was childish but he couldn't help it. He had Youji and wanted to rub it in her face. Akami was lucky she came out of this unharmed after she had kissed Youji, _his _Youji _twice_. It was the least he could do.

* * *

When they made it to the park they sat under the shade of a tree. Youji looked at Natsou and without so such of a warring leaned in and feverishly kissed his lips. When they were out of breath he pulled back only to capture his lips again.

Natsuo purred in pleasure and gave a small whimper when he pulled back.

"What…was…that for?" Natsou said slightly out of breath.

"To get her taste out of my mouth" he replied "besides…do I need a reason to kiss you?" he asked with a smirk.

Natsou grinned "of course not, you are always welcome in my mouth." he said in a seductive voice.

Youji laughed.

"What?" Nasou frowned

"I don't know how long our ears are going to last." Youji stated

Natsou grinned and leaned in close to him "hopefully not long." he whispered before closing the distance between them.

* * *

**I was going to make this story longer, make them go through a longer seperation, learning to cope with pain, having youji keep the secret to why he kissed Akami a little longer, making Akami appear more making her charater more important. I even had an idea of her and youji's past, and making him choose between them. But do to time I had to post the general idea of the story. I wanted to make this story more emotional and suspensful, but I don't have time so I just posted a summery! I hope you enjoyed (:D)**

**!Review!**

**And also if you want more Youji and Natsuo go to my profile. I have written a summery of the new story I had planned to write.**


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